I have trembled at the thought of dying by fire. Trapped in a room, suffocating, blinded, my blood literally boiling, slowly fading in a roaring inferno. I have closed my eyes in horror at the thought of being hung or choked to death, or slowly and painfully dying of some extreme pain. I have been shaken at the thought of dying a terrible and nightmarish death of sickness where I am alone, cold, and forgotten.
Forlorn, mournful, and somewhat depressed I begin to wonder if I would go through those things for the sake of Christ, or would I fall beneath the weight of my impending fear. Would I have the strength to endure agony, pain, and death for Christ? Could I make the ultimate sacrifice, glorying as Paul did in my sufferings?
The answer can only come when I am faced with such horrific situations, but at some times I wonder about lesser pain. Am I willing to be laughed at, scorned, forgotten, left behind, and rejected because I overcame my fear of sharing Christ with everyone I met? How can I as a believer face the great physical pain without first standing up to the emotions of fear in my daily life here in America? As Godâ€™s Word tells us, we are given small things to be faithful in before we are given great things. We must be faithful in the small things, although they may seem so insignificant in the eternal spectrum.
I believe with all my heart that if, or when, the day comes that I am to choose life or death with the Gospel at stake, the Holy Spirit will empower me with His strength. I may not have the will now, yet I believe God is faithful and will provide.
I, like thousands of others, am willing to give my life for the gospel if it be Godâ€™s will. Yet I, like still thousands of others, fail to begin here in my hometown with reaching those who need Christ because of fear. How can I stand up to the fear of death when I cannot stand up to fear of rejection, where only my reputation is at stake? May the Holy Spiritâ€™s fire return in our lives and to our nation.